SecureTogether
But research has shown that what sets thriving relationships apart from the rest is not whether they struggle — it’s how skilfully they navigate the inevitable tough times, together.
Most people assume that relationships are meant to be easy.
'I just wanted to say thank you SO much for this course! I did the first module with my partner on the weekend and the breakthroughs we've had so far have been phenomenal. Words can't express my gratitude, the shift in our relationship and conversations already is honestly staggering'
Sue
'The best advice I've ever heard on relationships. The work you & Joel do is nothing short of remarkable. With your expertise, I can envisage moving from anxious to secure and I know I have the skills to master this. I'm ready and willing to do what it takes!'
PG
Constant Push
and Pull
While the anxious partner seeks closeness and reassurance, the avoidant partner tends to distance themselves, fearing the loss of independence. This can result in a never-ending dance of pursuit and retreat, leaving both partners feeling exhausted and unfulfilled.
Misunderstandings and Miscommunications
The ways in which each partner expresses love and seeks security can be vastly different. An anxious partner may interpret the avoidant partner's need for space as rejection, while the avoidant partner might view the anxious partner's desire for closeness as clinginess.
Emotional
Exhaustion
The constant state of tension and insecurity can be emotionally draining. The anxious partner may be plagued by worries about the stability of the relationship, while the avoidant partner might feel overwhelmed by the perceived demands of their partner.
Repetitive Cycles of Conflict
Anxious-avoidant couples often find themselves in the same arguments repeatedly. The underlying issues, stemming from their attachment styles, might never get resolved, leading to recurring patterns of conflict.
Feeling Alone, Even When Together
Despite being in a relationship, both partners can often feel isolated. The anxious partner might feel alone in their desires for more closeness and intimacy, while the avoidant partner can feel trapped, longing for solitude even when they're physically with their partner.
Difficulty Trusting and Being Vulnerable
The anxious partner might struggle with trusting that they are truly loved and valued, while the avoidant partner can find it hard to open up and be vulnerable, fearing they'll lose themselves in the relationship. This can make it difficult to build & maintain deep trust.
I've helped thousands of people struggling with these EXACT problems in their own relationships. And I've been there first-hand too.
If any of these sound familiar,
I promise you're not alone.
From attachment dynamics, nervous system skills, navigating needs & boundaries, healthy conflict & repair, and working through common anxious-avoidant pain points, the course videos will provide you with a comprehensive resource on the what, the why and the how of building healthy relationships.
In-Depth Video Modules
For each module, you'll be given worksheets with homework exercises. These will help you to translate theory into practice and create accountability for real change. Plus, we'll be leading by example and demonstrating the practices from the perspective of our own relationship.
Practical Exercises
As part of the program, you'll also receive exclusive bonus materials to help you go even deeper in your love & learning.
These include a 100 Ways to Show You Care, 30 Creative Date Ideas, and a Quality Time Calendar.
Exclusive Bonus Materials
When you join Secure Together, you get:
Marie-Christine
"Since taking Stephanie's program, I've noticed that I'm not as "needy" towards my partner, especially when we are apart. I've also developed more self-compassion [and] I'm able to let go more easily."
Barry
"I have recently started a new relationship, and I now have tools that allow me to take a step back and see my anxiety for what it is. I can see that there is nothing wrong with the relationship and I am better able to "let it pass" instead of acting on it."
Rochelle
"I'm finally able to notice when I’m triggered and think through my course of action rather than react, and I have so many more tools and a greater understanding of myself and my partner."
The first module will set you up for success in the program, covering things like how to approach the course and how to get your partner on board.
We'll also dive into some basics around attachment styles, where and why we get stuck, and mindset work around relationship struggles.
The second module is all about defining values, needs and priorities. We'll discuss the importance of healthy interdependency as a hallmark of secure attachment.
You'll be guided to get clear on your individual needs and values, as well as articulating your joint priorities and commitments for the relationship.
If you don't know how to work with your nervous system, it's going to be really hard to build a safe & secure relationship. That's why our third module gives you an introduction into the role of the nervous system in influencing our perception and lived experience, and how that interfaces with attachment dynamics to powerfully shape our relationships.
Course Overview
Our fourth module will be all about conscious communication & learning how to have hard conversations in a safe way.
We'll look at common anxious-avoidant conflict patterns, and set you up with practical tools and strategies to break those cycles so you can have healthier conflict and effective repair.
In Module 5, we get really granular on the hot-button issues that anxious-avoidant couples face.
We tackle the hard conversations on topics including sex & intimacy, commitment & talking about the future, drugs & alcohol, pornography & social media use, jealousy & exes, and money.
Having done the hard work of clearing out the debris in your relationship, our sixth & final module is all about fostering deeper connection & intimacy.
We'll share tools and practices for you to continue to grow together, setting yourselves up for success as you build a new relationship culture of depth and connection.
About Us
In case we haven't met, I’m Stephanie Rigg, a certified relationship coach and host of the top-ranked On Attachment podcast.
I spent a lot of my life struggling with anxious attachment, which is why I'm so passionate about helping others overcome their old patterns and learn to experience relationships in a safe, secure way. And having supported over 3000 people through my coaching practice and online programs, I can safely attest to the profound impact of this work!
For the first time ever, I'm joined in this program by my partner Joel. As someone who leans towards fearful avoidant (or disorganised) attachment patterns, relationships haven't always been easy for Joel. He's grappled with a lot of fear, anxiety, avoidance and defence mechanisms that kept people at a safe distance.
Our relationship is far from perfect. We have good days, and bad days, like anyone else.
But along the way, through a lot of trial and error, we've built a solid foundation of love, care, trust, and respect. We've figured out how to love each other when things feel really hard.
We created this course because we believe that differences don't have to mean incompatibility. That tough times can invite us into growth and deeper connection. That we can both thrive in our own ways, while continually nurturing and evolving in our love for one another.
About Us
After working through Secure Together, you'll...
Understand precisely where & why you get stuck as a couple
Approach your negative cycles with compassion and care rather than defensiveness and blame
Define and negotiate your needs and values as individuals & partners
Create deep, embodied safety through an understanding of the nervous system
Experience conflict in a way that brings you closer rather than driving you apart
Cultivate deeper connection and intimacy
Pay In Full
SAVE $150
$297
EARLYBIRD SPECIAL
Pay In Full
SAVE $150
$297
EARLYBIRD SPECIAL
Praise for Stephanie's Work
"I started listening to Stephanie’s podcast when my relationship took a huge turn. She has helped me realize things about myself that I didn’t know but in a way that doesn’t make me feel like a bad person. Her podcast has helped me and my relationship tremendously and I cannot recommend or thank her enough."
"What once seemed complex, heavy and insurmountable about our dynamic now seems understandable and I have hope that we can help each other heal and grow stronger together. Thank you for your generous and valuable work Stephanie!"
"Steph’s honest, direct and empathetic approach has changed my relationship and my life allowing me to see patterns and parts of myself that l didn’t understand before. Her fundamental message of approaching difficult situations with curiosity and kindness has allowed me to communicate and understand my partner better making for a more loving relationship."
Join Us Today
The general price is US$497 or 9 x monthly payments of US$59 (each excluding any applicable taxes, which will be applied at checkout).
The course consists of six modules containing pre-recorded videos, workbooks and homework exercises that are released weekly (starting on your sign-up date) for you to work through in your own time, either individually or with your partner.
As soon as you sign up! You’ll get access to the first module as soon as you’ve made your purchase. Each subsequent module will be released weekly thereafter.
The course is primarily designed for couples so we do recommend working through the material with your partner (if you have one) if you want to get the most out of the material (especially some of the homework exercises, which are more interactive).
That being said, you could absolutely do the course alone and learn a lot of new skills that'll help to shift your relationship dynamics and clean up your side of the street. And maybe you'll even feel more confident in sharing the course with your partner!
This is a totally understandable concern! It's really normal for one partner to have more resistance to doing "the work" in a relationship than another. We've added a video at the very start of the course suggesting some ways that you could introduce the idea to your partner, helping you to frame it in a way that doesn't feel too serious or ominous!
We've also designed the course more broadly to not be too heavy or dense, and have put a lot of effort into making it approachable and non-intimidating for everybody. It's also a big part of why Joel is on board to represent the avoidant perspective and balance things out, so it doesn't feel like any one side is being villainised or lectured to.
You should aim to set aside ~2 hours per week to watch the videos and work through the supporting materials and homework exercises together. That said, you get lifetime access to the course once you've signed up so you might decide to take it slower, pause and revisit, or otherwise tailor to your needs and lifestyle.
Healing Anxious Attachment is primarily about cultivating self-awareness and rebuilding a strong sense of self as someone with anxious attachment patterns. While the course touches on relationship dynamics, it's very much from the perspective of the anxious partner rather than the perspective of the couple. By contrast, Secure Together is focused on the relational components more so than the individual ones, and is designed with the objective of helping you overcome the blocks within your relationship and build a more secure partnership together.